Did You Ever Think Life Was Gonna Be This Way?

I had a CT scan on Thursday and, as usual, the week or two prior to the scan were anxiety ridden ones. The scan shows us what's going on inside my bod - they use a high contrast dye to help identify any possible new lesions and to track the growth (or lack of growth) of existing malignancies. CT scans can be done anywhere on the body but mine focus on the chest, abdomen, and pelvis because that is where my growths have already occurred, and my type of cancer likes to return to the scene of the crime, so to speak. Well, to the scene of the metastasized crime (places the cancer spread beyond the primary tumor site, which was my sigmoid colon), I should say - it's very rare for another colon tumor to emerge. Anyway, as I've explained before, my medical team is very attentive in their quest to keep me alive (Thank You!) and thus, I have undergone these scans every two to three months since my initial diagnosis. These are in addition to PET scans, which search the whole body for

Six years ago yesterday morning, my husband and I drove through the pre-dawn chill of a Denver February to Rose Hospital, where my beautiful baby boy with lips like, yes, roses, would arrive just a few hours later to complete my family and my heart. We listened to "Latika's Theme" from "Slumdog Millionaire," and I remember so well the feeling of peace, of happiness and expectancy that accompanied us, a little warm cocoon swaddling us as the dark and still early morning slipped by. I meditated and prayed - for a safe delivery of my son, for him to have a happy life, a life abundant in love and joy.   So far, so good. My gorgeous, funny, stubborn baby boy still skips nearly everywhere he goes, and although he's grown so long and lanky, he still folds himself happily into my lap and onto my shoulder for hugs and snuggles.       the two of us, a few years back A year ago today, my husband and I drove to a different hospital and received very different news: the