Did You Ever Think Life Was Gonna Be This Way?

Honestly, I've been trying to write a post for what feels like forever about my friend Jen, who died of complications from metastatic colorectal cancer on 2 July. But every time I start, I can't seem to get it all together, so that one is going to have to wait a while, I guess. My grief and survivor guilt and sadness and anger and passion and hate for a disease I know so intimately - it all needs to percolate a little. But I'm not worried. Jen wouldn't have minded waiting to hear all of what I need to say.* As a matter of fact, I was thinking of her - and of this blog post - last night, while I was inside the MRI machine. If you've never had the pleasure of being inside such a machine, it looks like this:  Well, that's a fancy one that I found on the Interwebs. But you get the picture. They put you on the little stretcher there and zip you inside the little roundybout area. They give you earplugs and headphones (sometimes, they pump in mu