Did You Ever Think Life Was Gonna Be This Way?

After a long hiatus in which I could only watch "Friends" episodes, listen to the All Souls trilogy on audiobook, walk around feeling like I'd drunk a gallon of coffee, and sometimes - sometimes  - knit, I've finally read a book. Two books, in fact! I'm so proud. One seems to have a bit more synergy with my present situation, however, so I give you: Station Eleven: A Novel by Emily St. John Mandel Had Station Eleven been written in a chronologically organized way, it would have been a nice addition to the growing field of post-apocalyptic fiction. But Mandel instead takes readers through life before "the collapse," as well as during and after that seminal event, using a technique that reminded me of a disorganized but dazzling pile of photographs.  Readers follow the fates of a handful of people introduced in the first chapter of the book, which occurs in a theater just before the collapse. What really makes this book sparkle is the organi...

So, I'm all done with my radiation therapy, two days early - and not a moment too soon, because for whatever reason, it was making me supremely depressed. My oncologist mentioned once that radiation patients seem to experience depression at a higher level than other patients but he didn't have an explanation. I don't have an explanation, either, but I was a big disaster for the last four days. Just ask my husband, my mom, or my dad, all of whom were privvy to various temper tantrums and breakdowns. My kids also saw me weepy and taking to my bed, Victorian style. Not terribly proud of that, but to be honest, it was probably for the best to have me tucked away in the bedroom like an ailing great-granny. My poor kids - they're going to think motherhood consists of crying and sleeping. At least they seem to take it in stride - when I fell asleep on the couch yesterday for two hours, my 7 year old daughter, who was home sick with a fever, came over and covered me with a b...

I'm getting my groove back. I can feel it. I stay awake all day (well, most days). I've been organizing up a storm. I'm enjoying cooking and baking again. The hideous acne/rash I had as a result of one of my chemo drugs is almost gone - I've actually left the house without cover-up on and not scared people. Yay for summer! Yay for recovery! Let's drink to that! June 2013, at the mountain house. God, I miss my hair. But wait. I don't have the energy I want. And I get terrible edema if I have drinks. One or two glasses of wine seems to be okay, sorta. But if I decide to have a vodka and soda, or if I have, over the course of an evening, more than two drinks, then I wake up the next morning having gained - and this is not a lie - at least 4-6 pounds. It's water weight. So then I start taking my edema drugs, which make me pee every 45 minutes all day long, for about three days. Then I am back to my regular weight, and then, sooner or later, the edema ...