Here I Am!

Happy New Year from our family to yours!

I know, I know - it's been a really long time since I posted. Why so quiet on the blogging front? Well, I don't know. In the last six weeks, I've turned forty, celebrated the holidays, had several out of town visitors for extended stays, tried to prep for my return to teaching this semester, broken a couple of ribs, and discovered that I have to have more SBRT sessions. Perhaps I should explain.

The turning forty part was amazing and fun - for many, many years, I dreaded the idea of turning the big 4-0. It sounded to me like the beginning of the end - could grey hair, varicose veins, a saggy butt and papery skin be far behind? Since my diagnosis, though, I've looked to the possibility of making it to forty as a challenge and a potential cause for massive celebration. (Plus, by the time forty rolled around, the prospect of grey hair and a saggy butt were far down my list of bodily concerns.) It's amazing what the possibility of imminent death can do for one's perspective, eh?! So when my big day came, we threw a party and I invited many of the people who made making it to forty possible for me - my parents and the amazing community  of friends who have rallied around me and my family for so many months. We had the happiest happy hour ever, and it was really a wonderful night! 

Unfortunately, in the weeks leading up to my birthday, I'd been having significant pain in my side. My medical team was concerned that it could be new lung lesions or even new liver lesions, so they set me up for yet another CT scan. The good news was that they didn't see any new cancers, but the bad news was that I was taking a lot of pain meds and had no explanation for my aches and sharp pains. Fast forward to the middle of the night on my actual birthday, when I woke up in exquisite pain. I emailed my doctors immediately and explained that the pain, which had been hovering around a seven or so, had suddenly shot up to at least a nine on the ten scale and that it was difficult to breathe. They decided to do a chest x-ray, and so we trundled down to the office and had that done...and discovered a broken rib. A follow-up CT scan (yes, another one!) revealed that there were actually two broken ribs. Fun. No one could figure out why this had happened. It may be related to radiation treatment I had back in September, or from the body-wracking set of coughs I had for most of October...no one has come to a definitive conclusion. The good news is that it's NOT cancer related - that is, I don't have any cancerous lesions in my bones, which my team was concerned about and why they ordered the follow up CT. 

Anyway, here's what I've learned about broken ribs: 
1. They really, really hurt and there's nothing you can really do about it. 
2. Wrapping presents is difficult when you cannot turn or reach for the tape. 
3. Visiting the mountains for a ski trip and then not being allowed to ski is not fun.
4. The luxury of sleeping and laying around so my broken ribs could heal wasn't really luxurious, because laying down hurts more than almost anything else.
5. The human body can really take a lot of trauma and continue to work well, all things considered.
6. My husband is the most patient and kind human being in the world. 

The broken rib fiasco aside, our holiday season was a lovely one. We didn't really do much but I was with the people I love and our Christmas Day was full of beautiful little surprises and moments. NewYear's Eve in the mountains was fantastic, too - we got together with some friends and saw fireworks, ate lots of junk food (a family tradition), drank plenty of champagne, and watched the ball drop on TV. How fortunate am I, to have done all this almost two years after being diagnosed with stage four cancer? If you'd told me I'd be around to ring in 2015 back in the spring of 2013, I would have collapsed in delerious relief. Now, though? Now I have my eye on making it to 45, and I'm pretty sure I'll get there - it will continue to take a (highly specialized, medically amazing) village, but I'm pretty damn determined! 
Happy 2015!! 

Comments

  1. AmyJanuary 9, 2015 at 6:04 PM

    I live with three of the four horsemen of the aging Apocalypse that you mention (grey hair, varicose veins, a saggy butt and papery skin), but I really like my 40s. Even though I'm heading out of them in a couple of years. And I look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you (as in, actually with you. And not being back-stage helper at a children's theater production).

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