Let's Play a Game

The name of the game is, "What's the hell are you charting?"

Here's the visual:

Hmmm. Puzzling. Let's see...

Heartrate on a highly anxious individual? No. 

Number of drinks per week? No (although that last spike looks like it would have been QUITE the good time).

Come on, people! Think! This is a REAL MEDICAL chart. It is a real, medical chart of MINE.  It was given to me by my REAL doctor for me to take home. What. IS. It? 

Fine. FINE. I will give you...a hint. Two hints. It is something you measure with a blood test, and it charts that measurement for one whole year. Sit here and think about this and look at it for a few minutes, and then I will tell you the answer.  

Done thinking? Okay, me too. This is a chart of my platelets, measured in 20K (K= thousand) increments. The first spike on the chart is on the far left, and is just under 100K. The highest point, on the right, is 169K. The lowest points, again on the left, are right around 30K. Just for reference, you healthy people reading this probably have platelets between 200-400K. In order to receive chemotherapy or almost any cancer treatment, really, platelets usually need to be 100K or higher.

This f@#$%@ing chart is my Everest. My low platelet counts throw my every treatment, appointment, plan, and scheme into disarray, because you can't follow through on a treatment plan without platelets! You can't be admitted to a clinical trial featuring fun and exciting new immunotherapies without platelets! You can't go skiing or play football without platelets! (You can't even jump off the stage and catch a sparkly football like Lady Gaga did, unless you land in a huge pit of soft foam blocks.) You can't cross the damn street and get hit by a car without platelets. You also can't stay awake and have lots of energy when all of your body is trying to make platelets. All the fun things are off limits without platelets. All the important things. The LIFE SUSTAINING things. Well, except for books. And people wonder why I read so much. 

So. Please. Figure out the platelet issue for me so that we can fix it. A few things to know: 

- chemo doesn't necessarily hurt my platelets - some weeks, I have increased platelet counts after a week on chemo. 

- I've had a bone marrow sample taken. I produce platelets. They're just not circulating.

- But! Don't get all "I got this" about that info and tell me that obvs, they are hanging out in my spleen. I have had two partial embolizations of my spleen within the last year. The first was in May (that first big spike on the chart) and the second was in September (the third peak over from the big May peak, which is probably reflective of the platelets that they had to give me so that I could, you know, survive the procedure in the first place). 

- I haven't had any treatment since January 5, and my platelets show two readings of around 70K, followed by 169K, 114K...and then 58K, twice in a row. 

Once you've got this figured out, let me know. I'll be over here, wrapped in bubble wrap and reading a book.